When Sandia Preparatory School terminated my contract in the middle of the 2022 school year, I did not yet understand that I was a casualty of what would become two national (and still on-going) waves of social persecution sweeping across these United States: one against gay, lesbian, and trans folks (LGBTQI+ people) and the other against teachers of American history and civics. At one time I proudly identified as both of these identities. I am still a proud, out gay man, but I no longer teach high-school history.
In the spring of 2021, Sandia Preparatory School, a private, independent school in Albuquerque, New Mexico, hired me to teach American History to its Middle and Upper School students. After more than 10 years teaching at the college level on various contracts, I decided that rather than move again, I would stay put and do something else. Teaching at an independent school seemed like a good option for me. With terminal degrees in both history and visual art (three masters and a doctorate), I hoped I could combine both of my passions into innovative lesson plans that would get students excited about American history.
I threw myself into my new position with zeal. Before my contract started, I met several times with colleagues to create a new American Studies curriculum that combined history, literature, and art. Besides writing lesson plans, conducting field trips, and developing creative projects, I volunteered at school events, served as a senior advisor, sponsored extracurricular activities, and attended parent-teacher conferences and faculty meetings.
Perhaps most significantly (in light of what happened), I undertook two initiatives aimed at promoting an inclusive and equitable culture at Sandia Prep. First, I was asked to participate in discussions with some faculty and administrators in advance of hiring a new Head of School, about how to make DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) a priority at Sandia Prep. As part of this work, and also as the faculty advisor of the school’s social justice activity, Empower Prep, I was asked to represent the school at a national conference about diversity and inclusion put on by the National Association for Independent Schools (NAIS).
Second, and along with another (female) gay colleague, I started the first LGBTQI+ affinity space at the school, True Colors Prep. Sandia Prep already had a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA): a mixed queer and straight group for (younger) middle school students. Responding to the stated needs of our students, my co-sponsor and I conceived of True Colors as an upper school only activity, for young people who already had a sense of their identities as LGBTQI+ people. It was to function much like similar groups for African-American or Native American students.
Based our own experiences as queer faculty, as well as the stories many students told us of the harassment, bigotry, and even violence they had experienced at Prep because of their LGBTQI+ identities, we believed such a group was vitally needed.
I became aware of the hostility at the school towards the LGBTQI+ community after my first day. The Head of School, Bill Sinfield, sent me an email stating that a parent of one of my juniors accused me of “harming children” because I had identified as “the gay, white, descendant of settlers on the Front Range of the Rockies” – a true statement. He said his white, straight son felt singled out, and recommended to Sinfield that I be punished with more than just a “slap on the wrist.” I know this because my boss, the man who had just the previous week signed my contract, wrote back to this parent “well said Pete,” and then forwarded me the entire thread, not realizing that I could see his response. He said to me, “obviously, we need to discuss this.” We never did.
Having this traditional blood libel invoked – that we gay men are inherently predatory – on my first day of class, and then to have my boss condone such bigotry, was deeply shocking and disturbing to me. I wondered if taking this job had been a mistake. Now, of course, I know that some people in this country equate being a gay man with being a groomer and a pedophile.
I expressed my dismay at this incident to the head of my department. He was unsympathetic. He recited a litany of complaints and criticisms I was receiving from anonymous sources. My tone of voice, how I talked, the readings I assigned, how I tested, what movies I showed – nothing seemed to be right for some people. On the other hand, many students were enthusiastic and vociferous in their praise for my courses, as were some parents. They often expressed surprise at learning about the things I was teaching, and declared that based on what they were seeing going on in the wider world, they had often felt that their history education had been misleading or even dishonest.
When my co-sponsor and I submitted True Colors to the school administration for approval as an official activity, the Head of School stated that there was “no room on campus” for another activity. However, many colleagues offered to supply us a space, and so he reversed course. True Colors met at lunch for the first time in the second week of January 2022, and we had between 20-30 students sign up. We shared our coming out stories, and then we listened as students began to share about what they had experienced at Prep, experiences which were uniformly discriminatory and hostile.
About 2 weeks after True Colors first met, the Head of School’s secretary came to my classroom and tearfully told me that I was required to go to the office. When I got there, Bill Sinfield told me that he had some bad news for me. I was fired. When I asked the reason for my termination, he told me that the school’s legal counsel had told him he could not tell me. I offered to finish the school year out for the benefit of my students, but he said no; I would have to leave the school immediately.
He offered to purchase my silence with the remainder of my annual salary and health care benefits through the end of the school year. Campus security accompanied me to my classroom, watched as I packed up all my stuff, and escorted me off the campus. The security guard said to me: “It’s a shame Dr. Spence. I always thought you were a decent guy.” I was not allowed to speak to anyone, colleague or student. My name was stripped from the school, its walls, and its website. An email went out to the entire Sandia Prep community: “As of 2 pm today, Dr. Taylor Spence will no longer be employed at Sandia Prep. Please direct all inquiries to the Head of School, Bill Sinfield.”
The Head of School had fired me with no provision for my replacement, leaving 100 students, seniors preparing to graduate, and parents, who had presumably paid a premium for a high-quality historical education, with no qualified American history instructor. He simply forced the other history faculty to take on my students and teach material for which they had little expertise. The parent who had singled me out as harming his children had been wrong. Objectively speaking, it was Bill Sinfield who hurt Sandia Prep’s children.
I signed the non-disclosure agreement the school offered me because I needed the money. But then after a little thought, I realized I could not live with such dishonesty. Contrary to what the school’s email implied -- that I had done something so egregious as to have required my immediate termination -- I knew I had done nothing wrong. Moreover, I had never received any written indication that my work was subpar, or that my contract was in jeopardy. They could not or would not tell me why they fired me.
The day after I was fired, I received an email with the subject: “What You Meant to Me:”
Hi Dr. Spence.
I know this is absolutely none of my business. But I heard what happened and just wanted you to know how crushed I am that you will no longer be teaching me. Your class was the only class I looked forward to . . .I felt comfortable to speak my mind and I learned so much from you. Not just about history but life. I will miss you dearly and I’m so sorry.
I have no doubt this happened for a reason and you are destined to move onto a place where you’re able to teach freely and be allowed to speak about things that actually matter in this day in age. Again. I’m quite literally tearing up writing this knowing I won’t be taught by you any longer.
Thank you for what you’ve done for me.
Students like this were the reason I had to disavow my acquiescence to Sandia Prep’s silencing tactics. I hand-delivered a recension letter to the Head of School (the NDA allowed me to rescind my signature within 2 weeks), and made sure to receive a receipt with his signature on it.
Two weeks later, I heard that my co-sponsor of True Colors had also been let go.
Why am I telling this story now, more than a year since my firing? Obviously, litigation is not my aim. I am telling my story because all across this country and every day demagogic politicians and feckless school boards are hurting queer and trans kids. They are doing so to gain power and influence, and because a few vocal parents, who themselves received poor historical education, think they can stem the tide of change with suppression, discrimination, and cruelty, rather than listening and learning. Young people show us the future.
I worry every day for the mental health and safety of all queer kids in this country, including those at Sandia Prep. The person who ran Prep’s gay-straight alliance was one of the most toxic and dishonest people I have ever met. She still works there and I worry for the kids under her control. Did the trans kid get their own bathroom yet? Is True Colors still around? I really hope sharing my experience can help bring a little more care and attention to the LGBTQI+ community at Prep.
I also worry for the many wonderful and dedicated teachers and administrators at Sandia Prep. I have heard of several other teachers wrongfully dismissed as I was. How many people are living out there, silenced by non-disclosure agreements? I hope the new Head of School is making things safer, more inclusive, and more ethical for the many dedicated people who work at the school.
I want to add my story to the historical record. Journalists are writing about this wave of discrimination against the LGBTQI+ community. They are exploring why so many teachers are leaving the profession, why the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) – the “National Report Card” – for American history is going down, and why and how America’s overall educational system is failing our youth. Someday historians will research and write about these topics as well.
The tragedy of discrimination, prejudice, and harassment is that they make people feel smaller and cause them to not want to share their gifts with the world. The truth is I did feel smaller after my experiences at Prep. But now, after rereading the many letters I received from students and parents, and understanding that being smaller (or non-existent) is exactly what the forces of darkness currently assailing this democracy want people like me to feel, I am surer than I ever was that I will continue to teach American history. Enlightment for everyone has been the idealistic aim of this democratic nation from its origins. All people ARE created equal, but they can only learn the truth of that statement, and how to fight for that inborn right, in the honest, safe, and belonging classroom. This is an ethic and an ideal for which I am willing to fight.